winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
