have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
