Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
