i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
too bad you live with your parents still
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
