I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I take back everything I said about communal showers
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
