My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
