Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
