Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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