Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
