every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ketchup is God's man juice
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
