remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
