Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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