omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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