I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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