i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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