that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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