Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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