South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
