i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
