He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she woke up with a sticky ear
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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