All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
