I got chris browned last night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
