No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
