They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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