The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
