do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
