problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
