Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
