No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
