So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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