the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's official drugs can't kill me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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