my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
