Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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