Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
D3 body, D1 cock
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
