i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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