At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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