so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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