Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
