Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
