Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize