Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
