OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
