He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
