Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
