Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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