Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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