You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
worst night to have a conscience
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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