I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
