I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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