That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
