Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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