Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
