That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
