she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
