omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
