things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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