Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
