just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
