i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
