yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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