I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
