So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh god it's open bar.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
